I remember that my Waldorf childhood was enhanced by the fact that our school community would have frequent and often quite lengthy breaks. It seemed as though even the most obscure and random holidays could serve as excuses to take a day off from school. It was wonderful, really, and my family took full advantage of it, especially when Kelda and I were little-- going on weekend off-season trips to places like Cape Cod or simply spending time at home on our gorgeous woodsy property. However, what I began to realize as I got older was that often, while we were having all of these glorious pauses from the work of school in honor of Columbus Day or Veterans Day, or simply because the administration needed a little hiatus, most of the time we didn't have Jewish holidays off. I had several Jewish kids in my class, and they were able to stay home to observe their religious holidays if their families so chose, but school went on without them. It's funny to me that my new school, which has many more Jewish families, still operated the same way-- something of which I took note this week in particular (the imbalance): we did not have Monday off in recognition of the Jewish holiday BUT yesterday we took a full day to celebrate as a school community MICHAELMAS, the old Christian festival for the arch angel and his aiding of Saint George in slaying the dragon (anyone unfamiliar with the story should totally check it out-- it's fantastic; very archetypal too). I'm certainly not complaining, just noting it. AND Michaelmas itself was SUCH fun; a much more elaborate and engaging affair than anything that I experienced at WSP...We, all 300 + of us in the school-- students and teachers from all 8 grades and the high school, traveled in buses to a beautiful park in Huntington Beach for a day of adventure and challenges of all sorts. The day began with Mr. Bennett telling a variation of the Saint George story to the entire student body (not the high school) gathered in the hall, after which the kids were sorted into groups, each led by a different Eighth Grader and with the title of a particular craft/trade (i.e. The Candlemakers, the Goldsmiths, etc). My favorite part of the whole experience was seeing these mixed groups-- each group had at least one representative from each grade and in total had about 10 kids. It was incredible to see them interacting-- to see the Eighth Grader take charge in an authoritative yet empathetic way, to see them looking out for one another and helping one another...Anyway, when the groups arrived at the park, they were set up to follow a map that would take them to the sites of four different challenges, some mental, some physical-- and all requiring the participation and teamwork of each kid. I was the chaperone for the Jesters (hey, making people laugh is just as important as any other trade, if not more so!) and my oh my was I impressed and just tickled by how they encountered these tasks-- everything from the riddles they needed to solve, the group jump roping they needed to do, the spider's web they all needed to creep through, the costumes they needed to create out of various materials given to them...The hardest part for me was not being allowed to participate in the activities myself, or even help...There was a lot of sitting on my hands and biting my tongue....;) In any event, Michaelmas was an all-day affair, culminating after the challenges in the groups building shelters out of building supplies they had acquired at their challenge sites in the central staging area and then finally concluding in their enacting the end of the Michaelmas story: there was a dragon's cave at the center of a clearing-- according to the tale, the dragon had poisoned the well and the village of trades people was in danger of death as a result. The only way the water could be purified was for the bravest of each trades group (traditionally the Second Grader) who has been dressed up and armed by his or her people, to creep up to the cave and to steal the gold treasures (in this case, rocks I had taken from the train tracks near my house and spray painted sparkling metallic) from the dragon and throw them into the well at the center of the town square...The cave in our case was incredible, with bones strewn about the entrance and smoke billowing out-- it was totally scarier NOT to actually see the dragon but to simply see evidence of him, allowing the kids and us too to imagine our own dragons, our own fears and demons as embodied in whatever was lurking in there-- the Second Graders were quite terrified (at least some were) to approach the cave, but all recovered the stones and the water was purified. The finale of the high schoolers, who had set up and run the challenges, coming to the stage and leading the school in the Saint Michael song, was adorable and even though many of us and the younger kids didn't know the words, HOW POWERFUL to see the teenagers stepping up like this and to see the younger kids looking up to and emulating them...Here, I really could see why they wanted us teachers to take a very minor role...My observations from this day will stay with me, and I'm sure have already changed my feelings about many individual kids, and certainly about the community that the school is in general. I couldn't have had a better time, nor left school feeling happier or more inspired.
After school, I had my first tutoring client from the WSOC student body-- one of my own kids from Grade Seven. It went really well-- and we connected right away and for me, it felt incredible to get back into this English stuff again! I have missed it! As much praise as I have for the school, I am a little worried about the way in which they are teaching, or not teaching, writing here; however, more on this later. I have a plan for progress with this student about which I'm totally excited and very optimistic.
Today, after classes, I will be going to get my own direct training-- another long day with yoga training! But, man, am I loving this! I am so so glad I've stuck to it. Last weekend, I got completely overloaded with information, in a good way: three things that were dominant--
1. Taking my first C3 (Advanced) heated Vinyasa class-- challenged myself and humbled myself and pushed myself to places I never thought I could go (like Birds of Paradise!)
2. Breaking down my Chaturanga and realizing (along with most other people in the room) that I'd been doing it incorrectly my whole yoga life! It's actually even HARDER and since this workshop, I cannot go back-- I've been working on getting it perfect in terms of alignment and while I'm far from it, it's moving toward it, slowly but surely!
3. Anatomy! Such a great, but incredibly overwhelming lecture on Sunday-- soooo much information, but how fascinating to uncover the mechanics behind what makes us able to do these postures, how our bodies and their predispositions create particular limitations or allow for ease within certain poses, how proper alignment can support the development of a balanced and healthy body...I'm in awe, really.
All right. Enough babbling here. I'm off to work. Reflections tomorrow!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
BIG dEsciSioNS, new diRecTionS....
Well, I intended for this blog to be exclusively about my experience as a new Waldorf teacher, coming in with nothing but my own lived Pre-K through 8 education, but I see now just how difficult, and really quite silly it is to try to compartmentalize the things that make up what I'm trying to cultivate as a multifaceted life-- everything I am doing and living and learning affects everything else, undoubtedly, so those others interconnected facets will be represented here to some degree...So here it goes.
It's all nonsense, I know. I've been at this precipice before-- I think we all have-- where self-doubt, where fear paralyzes us and steers us ultimately if we let it away from a challenge. Sometimes the voice that questions is an important one, stopping us from making rash and destructive or foolish decisions...But more often than not, for the over-thinkers among us (like me, Ms. Rationalization, Ms. Logic, Ms. Frugal, Ms. Pros and Cons) it can be immobilizing and limiting...I have consciously worked to combat this tendency toward worrying about future regret. From the outside, many people perceive me as extraordinarily decisive and focused and driven, which on some level I am-- but the secret is that it comes out of a deliberate decision to be so, not out of a lack of fear. So I am sticking with this. I don't know where it will take me, what I will learn, but I'm letting go of the expectations I have for it and riding, in the present with intention, this wave.
The class was fun, if a little fuzzy--sharing feelings...Not necessarily a bad thing for a first meeting. AND the things that we did learn, the engaged "doing yoga" part-- teaching and adjusting the first part of the Vinyasa sequence in pairs, was really helpful, and empowering in that I realized that I already knew more than I though I did-- it's amazing how much one learns just through repeated practice-- the absorption of all of those voices of all of those teachers in all of those classes one's taken become one's own knowledge...I return on Saturday for more goodness-- and Sunday is our Anatomy class, about which I'm pumped. Here's to surrendering and seeing where it goes!
All of this cultivation of self-awareness and the pushing of my own limits and zones of comfort will I know affect the way in which I meet my own professional responsibilities, and the content (bringing more yoga and anatomical understanding to Games and Movement) is only the beginning. It is this fact that I need to remember and keep in my heart as I go through the training.
The rhythm of classes and school has gotten even smoother this week, to the point that I am beginning to recognize and tailor to the personalities of each grade, to know student names-- even in the biggest classes with the tiniest folks!--to feel a bit more "in" my role...and I'm having FUN with it! In spite of the incredible heat of the past few days, the kids have worked and played their hearts out in the relentlessly beating sun, though Grade Two broke down a little today, exhausted from running and sun and as a result, fighting with each other and growing restless, unfocused, and inattentive. Cannot say I blame them! I am looking forward to cooler weather, real (or as real as it gets here) FALL. We are working now on getting the Middle School sports program up and running-- we're going to do it on a club level, and I'm psyched that there's enough interest for a Swim club! We're also going to have Cross Country (which I'll be co-leading with a couple parents), Basketball, Tennis, and Volleyball...Very much looking forward to the extensions these will serve as to weave me more into the school community.
I am creating, steadily but slowly, my "repertoire" of games and exercises and activities in a giant binder [please feel free to share any games YOU enjoyed/enjoy for me to bring to my students!]...It's frustrating to feel like I'm starting from scratch but I guess it's an unavoidable learning curve. It's hard work...but enjoyable nonetheless. Now, I'm starting to work rather than simply getting them under control and moving, toward giving the kids, each grade, a more structured "Waldorfian" program...
Cannot believe tomorrow is already Friday!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
A LooooooNg dAy.....
Some highlights of the past two days of school:
1. My wildly successful journey to the desert island with the First Graders-- a true workout for the imagination and for my story-telling skills!
2. Seeing my Eighth Graders hobbling around the campus the day after we did a circuit that included body weight squats.
3. The Fifth Graders' incredibly enthusiastic romping in the Bear Crawl.
4. Getting the biggest hug imaginable from my Fourth Grade "tough guy" after playing a fast-paced, high energy game he so enjoyed, in spite of his attempts to dislike it...;)
Today is a big one, more for me than for the kids in the sense that I have a lot on my plate in starting my yoga instructor training this evening. I'm hoping to be able to keep the energy and "awakeness" running throughout! I have Sixth, Seventh and Second Grades today...Six and Seven will do a CrossFit kids workout and then play German Dodgeball (woohoo!) and Second will play some tagging games and then Blind Man's Bluff-- a variation I put together from doing some research, where the kids for a circle and the "blind man" is in the center...EXCEPT he or she is actually a farmer coming into the barn at night so check on his animals, but he cannot see in the dark...the other students are the animals and they circle the blind farmer saying a silly verse until the end, then the farmer gets to point to one kid/animal and tell him/her to make the noise of that particular animal ("Bark like a dog...") in order to identify him/her. We'll see how it goes. I'm nervous for yoga training but also stoked. I think it will compliment and deepen my work at school but also in my own life and practice. Will check back in tomorrow to update you all on the day!
1. My wildly successful journey to the desert island with the First Graders-- a true workout for the imagination and for my story-telling skills!
2. Seeing my Eighth Graders hobbling around the campus the day after we did a circuit that included body weight squats.
3. The Fifth Graders' incredibly enthusiastic romping in the Bear Crawl.
4. Getting the biggest hug imaginable from my Fourth Grade "tough guy" after playing a fast-paced, high energy game he so enjoyed, in spite of his attempts to dislike it...;)
Today is a big one, more for me than for the kids in the sense that I have a lot on my plate in starting my yoga instructor training this evening. I'm hoping to be able to keep the energy and "awakeness" running throughout! I have Sixth, Seventh and Second Grades today...Six and Seven will do a CrossFit kids workout and then play German Dodgeball (woohoo!) and Second will play some tagging games and then Blind Man's Bluff-- a variation I put together from doing some research, where the kids for a circle and the "blind man" is in the center...EXCEPT he or she is actually a farmer coming into the barn at night so check on his animals, but he cannot see in the dark...the other students are the animals and they circle the blind farmer saying a silly verse until the end, then the farmer gets to point to one kid/animal and tell him/her to make the noise of that particular animal ("Bark like a dog...") in order to identify him/her. We'll see how it goes. I'm nervous for yoga training but also stoked. I think it will compliment and deepen my work at school but also in my own life and practice. Will check back in tomorrow to update you all on the day!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sunday cHeck-iN...
My break from blogging at the end of last week was not out of a sense of discouragement, or out of a feeling of frustration or being overwhelmed with work and its dramas, but rather was just simply a result of life being lived and my becoming engaged with moments as they existed...Actually, Thursday and Friday (and Wednesday) went incredibly well, even Sixth Grade in which we did a hula hoop circle step-through timed race (which they were SO into) and played JAILBREAK (with mixed-gender teams!) at the volleyball courts. My most triumphant feat was completing a First Grade lesson that felt truly successful and relatively smooth! With the help of an assistant to the lower grades teachers who dealt with the disciplinary problems, I was able to 1) get the kids to walk out of the classroom quietly, two by two 2) have them form two concentric circle with these lines (a tricky thing!) and 3) get them into two parallel lines again to play a game of OVER-UNDER passing with a ball (they just learned how to sew so I and the assistant, an awesome, bouncy guy whom the children all call "Mr. Brad", thought it was appropriate); they even got a little competitive, seeing which line could do this sequence correctly in the shortest amount of time. They were over the moon about this simple exercise-- which again reinforced for me the importance of simplicity itself at this age-- simplicity and structure...Tomorrow, I have them again, and I think I will be taking them on a trip: we'll be on a long ship, with oar(wo)men in pairs rowing and crash-land on a deserted island...Who knows what we might find there! Well, Ms. Nelson does (we'll encounter a hungry MR.WOLF (or perhaps a tiger or something more exotic) and play some rounds of this fun "Tag" variation to get them RUNNING and pooped out. :) I LOVELOVELOVE being able to craft an imaginative narrative around the activities we do in these younger grades-- it's like story-telling and they just eat it up...Looking forward to seeing how this goes.
The Eighth Grade is fun in its own way, on the other end of the spectrum-- and I also see them tomorrow. I've been trying to do some basic CrossFit kids stuff with them and they're fairly receptive-- at least, they do it and I've heard from parents that the students are excited about the possibilities offered by my program. We ran a mile on Friday as an assessment tool for me to see where they are-- some fast ones in the bunch! But everyone finished-- in spite of the glaring noon-time heat and the lack of shade in the desert-like bluffs in front of the school. They were great sports. Tomorrow, I think we'll do some functional fitness stuff for half the period and then maybe reward ourselves with a game of CAPTURE THE FLAG. [I cannot wait for my pinnies to come in! This will make these games so much easier to manage!]
Fifth Grade on Friday was a trip, as usual...Played SPUD, which they loved, and then variations of tag: one-footed hopping tag first and then "All-Fours Tag" (my own creation-- so funny to watch); they were wiped out afterwards. I'm thinking German Dodgeball for this group soon...This game was a favorite of my Waldorf class-- Mr. Heyder taught it to us, telling us only the German name, which I won't even pretend to spell here. But even I, someone who much preferred the running and hiding and strategy games to those involving balls of any kind, LOVED this one! It's fast-paced and involved everyone, drawing on all kinds of skill.
And overall, how is Greta feeling about this new position? Well. I must say that it is taking some getting used to-- the flexibility and the freedom, the new environment and the new kids, my new "uniform" a.k.a. shorts and tees and sneakers as opposed to more "teacherly" garb-- all of it. I feel like I am missing something, like this is too good to be true and that I'm going to find out that I'm doing something profoundly wrong, like missing half of my week's classes or something...I'm holding my breath but the bubble hasn't burst yet. I guess I really AM living the dream, and it IS dreamy, all besides getting stuck in California traffic when I leave school too late in the afternoon. So I'm figuring out how to live this schedule most fully...And I'm getting there. But now, to sleep. Big day-- four classes: bang bang bang bang (back to back to back to back) all out in the sun tomorrow. It could be worse ;)
The Eighth Grade is fun in its own way, on the other end of the spectrum-- and I also see them tomorrow. I've been trying to do some basic CrossFit kids stuff with them and they're fairly receptive-- at least, they do it and I've heard from parents that the students are excited about the possibilities offered by my program. We ran a mile on Friday as an assessment tool for me to see where they are-- some fast ones in the bunch! But everyone finished-- in spite of the glaring noon-time heat and the lack of shade in the desert-like bluffs in front of the school. They were great sports. Tomorrow, I think we'll do some functional fitness stuff for half the period and then maybe reward ourselves with a game of CAPTURE THE FLAG. [I cannot wait for my pinnies to come in! This will make these games so much easier to manage!]
Fifth Grade on Friday was a trip, as usual...Played SPUD, which they loved, and then variations of tag: one-footed hopping tag first and then "All-Fours Tag" (my own creation-- so funny to watch); they were wiped out afterwards. I'm thinking German Dodgeball for this group soon...This game was a favorite of my Waldorf class-- Mr. Heyder taught it to us, telling us only the German name, which I won't even pretend to spell here. But even I, someone who much preferred the running and hiding and strategy games to those involving balls of any kind, LOVED this one! It's fast-paced and involved everyone, drawing on all kinds of skill.
And overall, how is Greta feeling about this new position? Well. I must say that it is taking some getting used to-- the flexibility and the freedom, the new environment and the new kids, my new "uniform" a.k.a. shorts and tees and sneakers as opposed to more "teacherly" garb-- all of it. I feel like I am missing something, like this is too good to be true and that I'm going to find out that I'm doing something profoundly wrong, like missing half of my week's classes or something...I'm holding my breath but the bubble hasn't burst yet. I guess I really AM living the dream, and it IS dreamy, all besides getting stuck in California traffic when I leave school too late in the afternoon. So I'm figuring out how to live this schedule most fully...And I'm getting there. But now, to sleep. Big day-- four classes: bang bang bang bang (back to back to back to back) all out in the sun tomorrow. It could be worse ;)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
oH, the aDoLesCenT BeaSt...
Sixth Grade-- the beautiful time when hormones begin to take hold and the resulting tension between the males and females of our wacky species crackles and sparks like nobody's business! Such fun for a teacher, especially when that teacher is responsible for quelling all kinds of BOY vs GIRL drama when teams are drawn up and pitted against one another for physical competition. I made the silly mistake of allowing (naive little me) a Boy vs Girl game of STEAL THE BACON last week-- a couple of tears there-- never again. Yesterday, I was blown away, though, by how utterly, almost to the point of fear of contamination it seems, the two genders separate themselves. They are completely vocal about it, not trying to couch their disgust and contempt for one another at all. And while to me, it's sort of amusing from the outside, that is when it's not incredibly annoying in terms of trying to get a lesson going, it really is ugly to witness. I know it's all a part of growing up, and a very important stage as well-- I know too that I was exactly the same way in Sixth Grade-- however, I cannot help thinking of the repercussions that some of these interactions are going to have on the kids, for better or worse. I think more about those who are tangential to the real action too-- the followers and clingers-on who are grateful to be included in a group simply by virtue of their being one gender or another, but who really have no voice there, who are picked last and overlooked in the heat of the drama.
But enough about this-- kids will be kids, teens will be teens...I suppose it's just interesting to witness this behavior from such a vantage point and in such a context. Seventh Grade is similar, but not so starkly divided. I also had Second Grade yesterday and they were dreamy-- apart from a couple of needy attention-seeking whiney ones ;). We had a magical afternoon!
Today is Sixth once again-- and Third. Let's see what kind of excitement unfolds...
But enough about this-- kids will be kids, teens will be teens...I suppose it's just interesting to witness this behavior from such a vantage point and in such a context. Seventh Grade is similar, but not so starkly divided. I also had Second Grade yesterday and they were dreamy-- apart from a couple of needy attention-seeking whiney ones ;). We had a magical afternoon!
Today is Sixth once again-- and Third. Let's see what kind of excitement unfolds...
leT's pRetEnd...
It's amazing how the how an experience can be totally transformed by our imagination of it. Our minds can change a simple errand into an adventure, a mundane task into a life or death-level challenge, an ordinary place or object into something alive, or even magic. With games and any physical movement, I've been noticing, it is the same, especially with kids, as they are so much closer to this manner of approaching the world-- seeing what could be in what actually is... My Tuesday was transformed as a result. My games with the 3rd, 4th, and 5th Graders was spent it a much more imaginative space. I consciously made an effort to present all the material, and two games I'm thinking of in particular, with images, with imagination, framing them. The first of my two favorites worked with all age levels, and worked incredibly well! It was a jungle chase scene of sorts-- called TIGER, LEOPARD (I got it out of this simple tag games book)-- each student has a partner; one is a tiger, the other a leopard. The tigers all crouch down on a line on one side of the field and the leopards are behind. On a specific cue, the leopard have to LEAP over the tigers, and then run to the other side of the jungle to safety as the tigers rise and chase them! The winner-- leopard or tiger (if he tags his leopard) gets to choose which role to play in the next round. I had no idea that something so simple, and that was in essence a series of leaps and wind-sprints-- would be an activity ALL of these kids were so engaged in! It was such fun-- with the running and the growling and all of that :). The second game in which imagination made all the difference was a circle game called "Sew Up the Circle"-- I'm not going to explain it in detail (though if you want the rules, just let me know!) but again, the image created made the game an immediate success-- all three classes just ate it up.
I left school yesterday feeling confident and triumphant-- a relief after Monday's discouragement. Back to School Night was also last night and it was heartening to hear from parents that their children had been excitedly telling them how much fun they were having in my class so far. So I'm going into today with optimism. It's my late morning so it's been nice to have a little more time for me, but now it's time to go. More later...
I left school yesterday feeling confident and triumphant-- a relief after Monday's discouragement. Back to School Night was also last night and it was heartening to hear from parents that their children had been excitedly telling them how much fun they were having in my class so far. So I'm going into today with optimism. It's my late morning so it's been nice to have a little more time for me, but now it's time to go. More later...
Monday, September 14, 2009
a monday, feeling off...
Today, from the outside, seemed to go without major, or even minor, disaster; and I suppose I did. And yet, I for the whole day this sense of frustration with everything involved in the process right now. The whole structure of things does not lend itself to any kind of sane teaching, the kind in which the instructor gets to know each student, gets to establish authority, to move forward with a clear objective and measurable goals-- scaffolding. I feel the crunch of each one of these lessons-- and I feel suffocated by the restrictions of time and by the enormous SIZE of each of the groups in particular. I feel overwhelmed that I'll never get the chance to really get to know them in the context in which I see them, and as such, never be able to organize them in a way that allows me to take them where I want to. I know this is nonsense, at least in the absolute sense-- of course, I'll be able to reach them and I'm sure the rhythm will come, the rapport. But it is going to be extremely challenging, and perhaps it won't ever reach the level that I would wish. The First Grade is my greatest worry right now-- 34 little ones in the great wide open, totally distractable, each one needing immediate love and attention and me not even knowing all of their names because I haven't spent more than 80 minutes with them all, and all together! HELP! Today, this class and I did great at points, but it feels chaotic and unstructured and I just want to sit down on the floor and kick my heels into the ground, pound my fists and scream. Haven't done that yet, though. ;) On the brighter side, I did manage to teach Grade 8 how to run properly-- foot placement, breathing, etc.-- and I made them do burpees-- I don't know if I made many friends, but at least they didn't complain too loudly and they smiled and said enthusiastic HI MS. NELSON's to me at the end of the day in the parking lot. But truly, as scrambled as this post it, that is only a shadow of what my head looks like right now, and what I feel my lessons to be-- though I'm sure they're hardly that bad. Still, I want to improve them so so much, and feeling at a loss at how to go about doing so as dramatically as I wish is one of my least favorite...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Wrapping Up One Week, & On To The Next!
Sundays become natural PAUSES, beats of REST, during the school year, places from which to reflect more calmly and removedly (my word :)) on what's transpired, in the style of tornado or at a tempo of tedium, in the week previous and to map out and guess at what is to come in that ahead. So, here I sit on the Sunday evening, the first of MY new school year, enjoying the late rays of a still-summer sun through the north-western window, attempting to articulate these very things.
The week's finale of Friday was something that gave me such a sense of needed optimism for the week, and even for the year ahead. My major goal was to make it to all of my classes on time (in spite of there being no designated passing time between the periods!) and in this I succeeded! WOOT for me! But more than that-- the feeling I had throughout the day, while undeniably tinged with a constant anxiety and insecurity, neither of which I try to let show, was POSITIVE! I met three new classes-- First (!), Fifth, and Eighth-- and got to try my hand at Grade 2 again. Grade 2 came first after my arrival at school and my work as one of the rangers on the playground at snack time, and I certainly felt better about what came out of that session than the first. I had been able to plan for it based on my prior knowledge of the group-- a brief but illuminating (joltingly so!) experience on Wednesday. In terms of material, I attempted to strike continuity between the two lessons and was sort of able to do so. The rhythms of these younger grades are so interesting because more so than the older kids, the younger students fall in and out of engagement and focus so so quickly-- and it's hard to keep up! One minute, they are in a chaotic fit of giggles, or pinching each other, or even sobbing, and then the next they are totally hanging on my every word and moment. I guess my challenge it just to try to measure when these moments happen; and work out some crazy alchemy through which to stretch these moments into a constant flow-- for every one of this group of 30 + kids. Piece of cake. ;) Grade 1 definitely fell into this description perfectly, though they are markedly less devious and mischievous than the Second Graders (I say this with admiration and love for those in Grade 2!) Big mistake in this class of 34 was to try to have them all patiently wait through a name game (my attempt to learn all of these names, each equally beautiful and totally out-there)-- too long, Ms. Nelson (yes, I'm changing back to this title based on support from the Grade 1 teacher, a perfectly delightful Englishman in his 60s who thinks this "Ms. or Mr. First Name business" is nonsense ;) )! In any event, I was able to get them back easily enough through an imaginative running game, but my lessons in the future will certainly look differently as a result.
Grade Eight was pure fun! These guys are the mini-adults with kid spirit whom I just love. The group is smaller-- 23-- and each one of them was polite and engaged and generally enthusiastic. We did some stretching and yoga, some running work and a little core, and then we had RELAY RACES, which they were totally into! It was inspiring to see these 14 year olds hopping like bunnies or crawling like crabs or barreling forward like wheelbarrows with such ferocious intensity! And they had great feedback, and seemed be excited about the fitness program I have planned for them. We have some really athletic kids in this group and fantastic attitudes so I'm excited to see where this year takes us.
Grade Five was possibly my favorite lesson of the day-- I felt like it had a rhythm and a logical structure, the timing was good and the focus and fun were present for the majority of the time. Maybe it was the kids being particularly well-behaved and adorably enthusiastic that day or maybe it was me feeling a little more comfortable in my skin-- probably it was both-- but I hopehopehope we can recreate it again. We played a much more dynamic and fun name-game-- fast-paced and kind of crazy involving patterns of throwing and catching playground balls in a large circle-- total madness once we got the two balls going in opposite directions on the path! Took them through some stretching and partner warm-ups and then them running also with relay races of a similar kind-- more teams with this larger group. Goodness, I still cannot get over the beaming feeling I had after this lesson ended and I took them back to their classroom-- on time and in an orderly manner ;)-- it was the perfect note on which to end the week.
This weekend has been a wonderful break from all of this-- this avalanche of transition; Alex is finally home after a six-week absence (training in Northern Cali) and we spend the days catching up and catching sun and waves (well, some of us ;). We did make our way to the international competition down at Lower Trestles though! Kelly Slater is there (the only surfer I've ever really heard of) but we missed him). Tomorrow marks a new start for him at Pendleton, and for me in a full week, complete with a Parent Night event (yikes!). But for these last hours, better to live in the moment if possible so I will stop with the anticipation for now, and let what unfolds unfold as it will. And I will keep you posted.
The week's finale of Friday was something that gave me such a sense of needed optimism for the week, and even for the year ahead. My major goal was to make it to all of my classes on time (in spite of there being no designated passing time between the periods!) and in this I succeeded! WOOT for me! But more than that-- the feeling I had throughout the day, while undeniably tinged with a constant anxiety and insecurity, neither of which I try to let show, was POSITIVE! I met three new classes-- First (!), Fifth, and Eighth-- and got to try my hand at Grade 2 again. Grade 2 came first after my arrival at school and my work as one of the rangers on the playground at snack time, and I certainly felt better about what came out of that session than the first. I had been able to plan for it based on my prior knowledge of the group-- a brief but illuminating (joltingly so!) experience on Wednesday. In terms of material, I attempted to strike continuity between the two lessons and was sort of able to do so. The rhythms of these younger grades are so interesting because more so than the older kids, the younger students fall in and out of engagement and focus so so quickly-- and it's hard to keep up! One minute, they are in a chaotic fit of giggles, or pinching each other, or even sobbing, and then the next they are totally hanging on my every word and moment. I guess my challenge it just to try to measure when these moments happen; and work out some crazy alchemy through which to stretch these moments into a constant flow-- for every one of this group of 30 + kids. Piece of cake. ;) Grade 1 definitely fell into this description perfectly, though they are markedly less devious and mischievous than the Second Graders (I say this with admiration and love for those in Grade 2!) Big mistake in this class of 34 was to try to have them all patiently wait through a name game (my attempt to learn all of these names, each equally beautiful and totally out-there)-- too long, Ms. Nelson (yes, I'm changing back to this title based on support from the Grade 1 teacher, a perfectly delightful Englishman in his 60s who thinks this "Ms. or Mr. First Name business" is nonsense ;) )! In any event, I was able to get them back easily enough through an imaginative running game, but my lessons in the future will certainly look differently as a result.
Grade Eight was pure fun! These guys are the mini-adults with kid spirit whom I just love. The group is smaller-- 23-- and each one of them was polite and engaged and generally enthusiastic. We did some stretching and yoga, some running work and a little core, and then we had RELAY RACES, which they were totally into! It was inspiring to see these 14 year olds hopping like bunnies or crawling like crabs or barreling forward like wheelbarrows with such ferocious intensity! And they had great feedback, and seemed be excited about the fitness program I have planned for them. We have some really athletic kids in this group and fantastic attitudes so I'm excited to see where this year takes us.
Grade Five was possibly my favorite lesson of the day-- I felt like it had a rhythm and a logical structure, the timing was good and the focus and fun were present for the majority of the time. Maybe it was the kids being particularly well-behaved and adorably enthusiastic that day or maybe it was me feeling a little more comfortable in my skin-- probably it was both-- but I hopehopehope we can recreate it again. We played a much more dynamic and fun name-game-- fast-paced and kind of crazy involving patterns of throwing and catching playground balls in a large circle-- total madness once we got the two balls going in opposite directions on the path! Took them through some stretching and partner warm-ups and then them running also with relay races of a similar kind-- more teams with this larger group. Goodness, I still cannot get over the beaming feeling I had after this lesson ended and I took them back to their classroom-- on time and in an orderly manner ;)-- it was the perfect note on which to end the week.
This weekend has been a wonderful break from all of this-- this avalanche of transition; Alex is finally home after a six-week absence (training in Northern Cali) and we spend the days catching up and catching sun and waves (well, some of us ;). We did make our way to the international competition down at Lower Trestles though! Kelly Slater is there (the only surfer I've ever really heard of) but we missed him). Tomorrow marks a new start for him at Pendleton, and for me in a full week, complete with a Parent Night event (yikes!). But for these last hours, better to live in the moment if possible so I will stop with the anticipation for now, and let what unfolds unfold as it will. And I will keep you posted.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
seConD dAy...
Okay. A breath first. And this will be relatively short, just to let all of you who've expressed curiosity about my experience, and kindly care, at least a little, whether I've made it this far, that YES I have, and this is what I've been doing...
Well, the first point of triumph for me today is that I am still awake to be writing this! I really was taken aback by the extent to which I felt engulfed, entirely, by exhaustion yesterday and by a need to process, but also to let go of the day and all of its surprises and obstacles. I slept so deeply, but awoke refreshed and optimistic about the day ahead. I had only two classes today, still back-to-back, but a dreamy situation compared to that which I have tomorrow-- Recess Duty, and then FOUR in a row. Met Grade 3 first-- and they were adorable, bursting with energy but able to be a bit more controlled and directed on their own [at least today!] than Grade 2. Tried a new Name Game with them that involved clapping syllables and moving in concentric circles... Sort of worked-- at least I learned their names mainly and they were mildly entertained! Did some balancing/trust exercises that were fun-- with the whole group and then in pairs [social dynamics; wow, a whole other story!], and then played a quick game of Laughing Statues [group of students are stony-faced statues and the rest of the students are responsible for making the statues laugh without touching them-- when they do, they sit; last person standing wins-- I turned out to be the ultimate "laugh-maker";)]. Had a race back to the classroom, both to get them running just a bit more and also because I was going to be late for Grade 6...which I was anyway-- but what was great about being with Grade 6 today was that it already felt a little familiar, even after just spending one class with them yesterday-- and this definitely helped me to feel more grounded and sure of myself, which is something that's been distinctly lacking in these last days. We had a FULL to bursting lesson-- a Ms. Greta led Follow-The-Leader warm-up ending with running, disguised yoga, trust/balance/core building exercise, and then a game of Steal the Bacon [the chosen theme was CANDY]-- stupidly boys vs. girls. I won't make THAT mistake again---oooooh the drama at this age, in this class. There were some tears over a little rivalry between unaware crushees ;) but really, it all went smoothly as far as I'm concerned and they seemed to have a good time. MAN can some of those kids RUN! I'm disappointed not to have had a chance to re-time the relay but there is certainly more time in the year ahead... This is going to be a fun group...
I am going to wait until I am in a more reflective space to actually offer some reflection on anecdotes. For now, thanks for your patience with these unprocessed pieces, but I hope it gives you a little glimpse into this beautiful chaos! And wish me luck tomorrow!
Well, the first point of triumph for me today is that I am still awake to be writing this! I really was taken aback by the extent to which I felt engulfed, entirely, by exhaustion yesterday and by a need to process, but also to let go of the day and all of its surprises and obstacles. I slept so deeply, but awoke refreshed and optimistic about the day ahead. I had only two classes today, still back-to-back, but a dreamy situation compared to that which I have tomorrow-- Recess Duty, and then FOUR in a row. Met Grade 3 first-- and they were adorable, bursting with energy but able to be a bit more controlled and directed on their own [at least today!] than Grade 2. Tried a new Name Game with them that involved clapping syllables and moving in concentric circles... Sort of worked-- at least I learned their names mainly and they were mildly entertained! Did some balancing/trust exercises that were fun-- with the whole group and then in pairs [social dynamics; wow, a whole other story!], and then played a quick game of Laughing Statues [group of students are stony-faced statues and the rest of the students are responsible for making the statues laugh without touching them-- when they do, they sit; last person standing wins-- I turned out to be the ultimate "laugh-maker";)]. Had a race back to the classroom, both to get them running just a bit more and also because I was going to be late for Grade 6...which I was anyway-- but what was great about being with Grade 6 today was that it already felt a little familiar, even after just spending one class with them yesterday-- and this definitely helped me to feel more grounded and sure of myself, which is something that's been distinctly lacking in these last days. We had a FULL to bursting lesson-- a Ms. Greta led Follow-The-Leader warm-up ending with running, disguised yoga, trust/balance/core building exercise, and then a game of Steal the Bacon [the chosen theme was CANDY]-- stupidly boys vs. girls. I won't make THAT mistake again---oooooh the drama at this age, in this class. There were some tears over a little rivalry between unaware crushees ;) but really, it all went smoothly as far as I'm concerned and they seemed to have a good time. MAN can some of those kids RUN! I'm disappointed not to have had a chance to re-time the relay but there is certainly more time in the year ahead... This is going to be a fun group...
I am going to wait until I am in a more reflective space to actually offer some reflection on anecdotes. For now, thanks for your patience with these unprocessed pieces, but I hope it gives you a little glimpse into this beautiful chaos! And wish me luck tomorrow!
the FIRST DAY! [written, as you can see, on Day 2]
Goodness gracious! I dont even know where to begin with this reflection! 09.09.09.-- a day so bursting and buzzing with energy and anxiety and challenge of all shapes and sizes. I arrived at school for the Back to School Assembly at which I was introduced with all of the new teachers-- I don't think I've ever had so many widely-curious eyes on me at one time without me even opening my mouth! The class teachers all tempted their students with a tiny sneak-peek of the year to come, and the 23 or so high school students led everyone in what was surprisingly my absolute favorite part of the whole ceremony-- a rhythm symphony of sorts in which each grade was responsible for a different beat composed of various stamps and claps and slaps. The final performance was rockin, really! Then, I again had to wait for a period-- the waiting has been the worst; absolute worst. Finally, though, at 11:50 I had my first class-- Grade 6. Met them in the classroom and after being introduced by the class teacher, I led them on to the large grassy field next to the school in a [relatively]silent single file line and we circled up. I started by getting them running in the circle a little and then without introducing much of anything, I led them through a Star stretching series and a simple Sun Salutation that is paired with a verse. I'm hoping to do this at the beginning of every class. Surprisingly, they all did-- probably because they are just a smidge scared of me, the new teacher, but also certainly because I didn't tell them that it was yoga-- they are, in theory, not too enthused by the idea of yoga they told me late- ha!--and they actually seemed to enjoy the challenge of some of the poses. After this, I told them a little about myself and then, because of my selfish need to hear their names quickly, we played a name game. Unfortunately, it seemed a lot better in my head, I but I guess I'd forgotten how at age 12 and 13, being asked to stand and perform a gesture or movement that reflects one's personality, which is what they were to do; repeating the names and gestures of those before them-- in some way it incredibly difficult-- even as an adult it's sort of nerve-wracking depending on the context! So this lost a lot of energy in the process and the gestures were pretty dull, expect for a couple of clapping push-ups and a cartwheel, and my somersault to a standing positing ;). But I did learn their names well enough to get myself around the circle so it served its purpose. And at least we ended the class with a bang by doing a timed relay challenge... Picture this:
All 25 kids lie on their stomachs on the grass in a line-- there is at least an arm's length of space between each kid. Then, the person at the designated end of the line gets up and must step over each of his classmates as quickly as he can and when he reaches the other end, lie down as quickly as possible because the people behind him have already started their way across...The race ends when the last person in the line has crossed over everyone else and lay down on the grass. They were able to do this in 40 seconds, and today, since I see them again, we'll redo it to see if they can beat the time
After lunch, it was Grade 7, followed-- without a pause, by Grade 2. All I can say is WOW. The distance between these two classes, literally [I have to sprint at 2 pm across the entire campus just to get there- not quite on time! The school's lack of passing time is still a bit of a frustrating mystery to me] but so much more significantly EMOTIONALLY and MENTALLY and PHYSICALLY in the bodily sense-- is so so vast. On top of this necessary adjustment for me as the teacher, I personally haven't had to ever teach in any solo and organized way, a group of elementary school kids at all... Let's just say it was a shock to the system, and the lesson plans when out the window in favor of total improvisation. My biggest ZING of an epiphany was that verbal instructions aren't, with this age group, incredibly-- okay, really AT ALL-- effective. I was repeating and repeating myself-- getting giddily interrupted with total nonsequiturs that I'm sure made total sense to these kids in their heads [and I thought those Eighth Graders in English class were bad ;)] and I was finally beginning to get pretty fed-up, just at a loss really at how to handle the situation which seemed totally unstructured and unfocused, when I simply started doing the exercise-- a verse with attached gestures-- on my own and OH MAN! I cannot tell you how quickly I had each and every one of them hanging on each movement-- totally in the moment and enjoying the challenges of processing new words and getting new postures and stretches and balances in their bodies. It was remarkable. That kind of intense, genuine focus, "in-it-ness," but most notably the JOY and FUN that they seemed to get out of the simplest thing was actually inspiring and exhilarating for ME! So I rode that wave of a little while, coming up with simple and not so simple imitative stretching sequences and then finally by some animal forms...This carried me through the rest of the class-- it just unfolded from here, with the kids choosing their favorite animals and figuring out how that animal would move, etc. Then, I set the "creatures" free in a designated area and told them that now only now did they have to move as their selected animal but they also needed to think about how their chosen animals would react to and relate to the others around them...This was a blast! We had some great chases erupt and great alliances arise; and whenever they got out of control, I froze them, and had them choose a new animal. Good times-- and hours of entertainment! But I wanted to at least get one game in so I made up a variation on DUCK DUCK GOOSE in which the animals used, if they happened to be "It," their own animal names, followed with a "Goose" that was an action that they, as their animal, perform [for instance, my cheetah said, "Cheetah, Cheetah,...etc POUNCE!" They got a kick out of this... It was possibly one of the longest, and yet simultaneously one of the quickest, 50 minutes of my life. I began, I think, to realize then that, yes, the newness of this job would be a challenge as I'd anticipated but really, a FAR greater all-around SHOCK TO THE SYSTEM than I could have dreamed.
I was home at 7:30, after yoga and some errands, and in bed by 8:10 pm, barely up long enough to wonder over my utter and total exhaustion. Zzzzz...
All 25 kids lie on their stomachs on the grass in a line-- there is at least an arm's length of space between each kid. Then, the person at the designated end of the line gets up and must step over each of his classmates as quickly as he can and when he reaches the other end, lie down as quickly as possible because the people behind him have already started their way across...The race ends when the last person in the line has crossed over everyone else and lay down on the grass. They were able to do this in 40 seconds, and today, since I see them again, we'll redo it to see if they can beat the time
After lunch, it was Grade 7, followed-- without a pause, by Grade 2. All I can say is WOW. The distance between these two classes, literally [I have to sprint at 2 pm across the entire campus just to get there- not quite on time! The school's lack of passing time is still a bit of a frustrating mystery to me] but so much more significantly EMOTIONALLY and MENTALLY and PHYSICALLY in the bodily sense-- is so so vast. On top of this necessary adjustment for me as the teacher, I personally haven't had to ever teach in any solo and organized way, a group of elementary school kids at all... Let's just say it was a shock to the system, and the lesson plans when out the window in favor of total improvisation. My biggest ZING of an epiphany was that verbal instructions aren't, with this age group, incredibly-- okay, really AT ALL-- effective. I was repeating and repeating myself-- getting giddily interrupted with total nonsequiturs that I'm sure made total sense to these kids in their heads [and I thought those Eighth Graders in English class were bad ;)] and I was finally beginning to get pretty fed-up, just at a loss really at how to handle the situation which seemed totally unstructured and unfocused, when I simply started doing the exercise-- a verse with attached gestures-- on my own and OH MAN! I cannot tell you how quickly I had each and every one of them hanging on each movement-- totally in the moment and enjoying the challenges of processing new words and getting new postures and stretches and balances in their bodies. It was remarkable. That kind of intense, genuine focus, "in-it-ness," but most notably the JOY and FUN that they seemed to get out of the simplest thing was actually inspiring and exhilarating for ME! So I rode that wave of a little while, coming up with simple and not so simple imitative stretching sequences and then finally by some animal forms...This carried me through the rest of the class-- it just unfolded from here, with the kids choosing their favorite animals and figuring out how that animal would move, etc. Then, I set the "creatures" free in a designated area and told them that now only now did they have to move as their selected animal but they also needed to think about how their chosen animals would react to and relate to the others around them...This was a blast! We had some great chases erupt and great alliances arise; and whenever they got out of control, I froze them, and had them choose a new animal. Good times-- and hours of entertainment! But I wanted to at least get one game in so I made up a variation on DUCK DUCK GOOSE in which the animals used, if they happened to be "It," their own animal names, followed with a "Goose" that was an action that they, as their animal, perform [for instance, my cheetah said, "Cheetah, Cheetah,...etc POUNCE!" They got a kick out of this... It was possibly one of the longest, and yet simultaneously one of the quickest, 50 minutes of my life. I began, I think, to realize then that, yes, the newness of this job would be a challenge as I'd anticipated but really, a FAR greater all-around SHOCK TO THE SYSTEM than I could have dreamed.
I was home at 7:30, after yoga and some errands, and in bed by 8:10 pm, barely up long enough to wonder over my utter and total exhaustion. Zzzzz...
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
jiTteRs...
So tomorrow, it begins FOR REAL. The nerves are outrageous. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I don't have real training in this at all-- I am worried about the newness of the structure, of the expectations, of the age ranges, everything. I know that tomorrow, when i actually have them all together, right there in front of me, things will pull together but right now, I'm a little bit of a wreck, as I always am on the brink of something new.
Monday, September 7, 2009
REfLecTioNs-- back one year in time...
I was going through my files and found this tucked away in my "Fiction" folders-- I now remember putting it there because my life at the time seemed so much like a work of fiction and I wanted to play with the irony-- fact as fiction [I had just finished creating a unit on Capote's IN COLD BLOOD that spring that was driven by the fuzzy line between the two genres so I think I was a little preoccupied...] Anyway, I thought it was interesting to see how I was feeling on the brink of my last move and my last great adventure-- my first real venture into teaching and thought perhaps some of you might be interested too. It's also a bit of a love letter to Santa Fe...
25 july 2008
friday
santa fe [via albuquerque & minneapolis] to a home now officially temporary
[can you go home again?]
The romance and coincidence and the falling togetherness is not just in pages of storybooks; it had to derive from a reality; I just never knew who’s that reality was until now. It’s all of ours; it’s only in an equal balance of our energy toward believing action and letting go that we can see it; and that it is clearer than clearest “could even begin to be.” The past days of my life have been a constellation too perfectly patterned to have been mere chance and it is only from a bit of suspended distance that I can begin to process their meaning and their beauty, and the significance of what my behavior in relation to the situation has taught me about the nature of that frustratingly terrifying and elusive R.O.L. that Amalia talks about. This is more real than the limits; the risks aren’t risks they are growth in the way I’ve dreamed about and talked about always but never seen, or felt. This is my time, I’ve decided, where’s there’s nothing to loose. I am prepared but not invulnerable; the earth has turned upside down and been shaken to its core into a whole new kaleidoscopic organization of adventure. And I’m scared but at the same time not; disbelieving but confident. This is a chance, to be compelled to expand and challenge and bloom and hurt and laugh and create; all dimensions of me; it is vibrant. I trust myself to know this is what I need right now; but find it storybookish that it’s here that I’m ending up (or being) right now; somewhere not even on my conscious radar, having crept into a flood of anxious despair/floundering/fear…But that’s its beauty: no expectations set up around it to be shattered, as Anam said. Just openness to whatever it will be. Openness to true experience, through and through.
I couldn’t write earlier this week. Perhaps it was too real, or too surreal. But while I will keep trying to process it, undoubtedly, my real object here I think should be to just live it out. No more questions; decisions that challenge are never wrong because they help you grow as long as you can have time to reflect upon and shift within those decisions. I am so excited for life’s very new chapter. It begins now…
New Mexico is a foreign country to someone who has grown bones and brains in the north east. Stretches of desolation that isn’t really when you look close greet you when you descend locust-like onto arid desert and widewidewide spaces—the breadth makes you catch your breath even before the altitude surprise. The colors are warm and dry, like the air; there is more water in the bodies that populate (sparsely) the spaces than in the spaces themselves; nothing seems to have the heart to grow in the thirsty throws besides the stubborn scrub. But this is not the whole story; not by any means; the contours of what seems one dimensional stun the skylines that panorama in a way I have only before imagined but not well. Mountains undulate, waves in a landscape where water is holy and marked by a green that is not taken for granted; they play parroting games with any clouds that decide to linger above in a sea of bluer than blue, challenging these drifters to match their fluid solidity, at sunset with fiery colors in the palette. Spectacular bruises set on phoenix-fire gloriously promise a beautiful new day to rise from ash. Santa Fe’s oasis is what I will run to though when the sky and these giants get too big with open questions that don’t hide in the abstractions and distractions of skyscrapers. Tucked inside the nest of cottonwood trees and creative spirit and cosmopolitan culture infused with perspective and integrity and peace, I think I can find simultaneous solace and inspiration and enough to grow in and on, roots and blossoming boughs. Communities carved out that are truly mine; living and making mistakes on my own.
25 july 2008
friday
santa fe [via albuquerque & minneapolis] to a home now officially temporary
[can you go home again?]
The romance and coincidence and the falling togetherness is not just in pages of storybooks; it had to derive from a reality; I just never knew who’s that reality was until now. It’s all of ours; it’s only in an equal balance of our energy toward believing action and letting go that we can see it; and that it is clearer than clearest “could even begin to be.” The past days of my life have been a constellation too perfectly patterned to have been mere chance and it is only from a bit of suspended distance that I can begin to process their meaning and their beauty, and the significance of what my behavior in relation to the situation has taught me about the nature of that frustratingly terrifying and elusive R.O.L. that Amalia talks about. This is more real than the limits; the risks aren’t risks they are growth in the way I’ve dreamed about and talked about always but never seen, or felt. This is my time, I’ve decided, where’s there’s nothing to loose. I am prepared but not invulnerable; the earth has turned upside down and been shaken to its core into a whole new kaleidoscopic organization of adventure. And I’m scared but at the same time not; disbelieving but confident. This is a chance, to be compelled to expand and challenge and bloom and hurt and laugh and create; all dimensions of me; it is vibrant. I trust myself to know this is what I need right now; but find it storybookish that it’s here that I’m ending up (or being) right now; somewhere not even on my conscious radar, having crept into a flood of anxious despair/floundering/fear…But that’s its beauty: no expectations set up around it to be shattered, as Anam said. Just openness to whatever it will be. Openness to true experience, through and through.
I couldn’t write earlier this week. Perhaps it was too real, or too surreal. But while I will keep trying to process it, undoubtedly, my real object here I think should be to just live it out. No more questions; decisions that challenge are never wrong because they help you grow as long as you can have time to reflect upon and shift within those decisions. I am so excited for life’s very new chapter. It begins now…
New Mexico is a foreign country to someone who has grown bones and brains in the north east. Stretches of desolation that isn’t really when you look close greet you when you descend locust-like onto arid desert and widewidewide spaces—the breadth makes you catch your breath even before the altitude surprise. The colors are warm and dry, like the air; there is more water in the bodies that populate (sparsely) the spaces than in the spaces themselves; nothing seems to have the heart to grow in the thirsty throws besides the stubborn scrub. But this is not the whole story; not by any means; the contours of what seems one dimensional stun the skylines that panorama in a way I have only before imagined but not well. Mountains undulate, waves in a landscape where water is holy and marked by a green that is not taken for granted; they play parroting games with any clouds that decide to linger above in a sea of bluer than blue, challenging these drifters to match their fluid solidity, at sunset with fiery colors in the palette. Spectacular bruises set on phoenix-fire gloriously promise a beautiful new day to rise from ash. Santa Fe’s oasis is what I will run to though when the sky and these giants get too big with open questions that don’t hide in the abstractions and distractions of skyscrapers. Tucked inside the nest of cottonwood trees and creative spirit and cosmopolitan culture infused with perspective and integrity and peace, I think I can find simultaneous solace and inspiration and enough to grow in and on, roots and blossoming boughs. Communities carved out that are truly mine; living and making mistakes on my own.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
soMe gOetHe wIsdoM...
Geothe always reminds me of Mr. Heyder-- back in the Waldorf School of Princeton, we used to mock the fact he used to quote the German poet and philosopher all the time, it seemed, and how he pronounced the name-- long and stretched and slow-- goooooooooooooooethe... but going back retrospectively to revisit some of these poems, I've found so much wisdom in them, even in translation. This particular poem is one that we wrote into our main lesson books during some block in 8th grade, I think. at the time, I definitely didn't "get it"; I'm still not convinced even now, with both a BA and an MA in English-related fields under my belt, that I ever "get" poetry, but all I know about this poem is that it's resonating with me now-- and I intend to take it into this year; we're reading it at the start of each of our faculty meetings this year! I think it applies to teachers and our craft particularly well, but really, it is equally apt for anyone and I hope that all of you find something in it to take with you into whatever new adventure on which you are embarking, into whatever change you are making...
I have come to the frightening conclusion
that I am the decisive element.
It is my personal approach
that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood
that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power
to make life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture
or an instrument of inspiration;
I can humiliate or humor,
hurt or heal.
In all situations,
it is my response that decides
whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated,
and a person is humanized or de-humanized.
If we treat people as they are
we make them worse.
If we treat people as they ought to be,
we help them become
what they are capable of becoming.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832
Each of us is powerful [our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond belief]. &
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have come to the frightening conclusion
that I am the decisive element.
It is my personal approach
that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood
that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power
to make life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture
or an instrument of inspiration;
I can humiliate or humor,
hurt or heal.
In all situations,
it is my response that decides
whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated,
and a person is humanized or de-humanized.
If we treat people as they are
we make them worse.
If we treat people as they ought to be,
we help them become
what they are capable of becoming.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832
Each of us is powerful [our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond belief]. &
With great power comes great responsibility.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
qUicK upDatE...
hello to all and any who may be checking in on me here~
i am currently prepping for school, which begins next wednesday-- reading up on curriculum material, etc. but also figuring the last logistics of my move, including vehicle registration! wooohoo-- what a joy! in any event, there has been little about which to update you all on in relation to my teaching as i obviously haven't started yet BUT i will begin posting again once it all begins! looking forward to sharing it all with you!
i am currently prepping for school, which begins next wednesday-- reading up on curriculum material, etc. but also figuring the last logistics of my move, including vehicle registration! wooohoo-- what a joy! in any event, there has been little about which to update you all on in relation to my teaching as i obviously haven't started yet BUT i will begin posting again once it all begins! looking forward to sharing it all with you!
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