sChooL dAys, siCk dAys-- in SWINE FLU SEASON...

Swine Flu. It's the virus on every one's lips-- literally to a frightening degree. If you've been even casually keeping up with the national news, you'll know that California is facing something verging on a crisis, especially within the schools, in the area. Though many cases of sickness in schools haven't been confirmed necessarily as the virus itself, the number of students (and TEACHERS) absent, even at our little school-- is astronomical! Further, half of the second graders who actually were there today(about a third of the class was absent) felt ill and queasy and feverish...I hadn't really begun to freak out at all about it-- in spite of many teacher absences and many more student ones-- until today, but it's getting to be too difficult to ignore. I note went home to the parents and out through the community list-serve telling everyone to "take precautions and remain calm." I am hoping it blows over quickly before it creeps into my body-- cannot afford to be sick right now, besides the fact that I, as you all know probably, hate being nauseous and vomiting more than pretty much anything...Keep your fingers crossed for the piggies to move on...

Apart from the bout of illness this week, school was relatively uneventful and flew by quickly. I can hardly believe how the days dissolve! I find some dimension of delight in each of them, some stress to breathe through, some challenge, some disappointment, but overall a sense of flow and purpose and peace. I have rhythms with my classes and am enjoying working with them although it feels not quite as much like "work" as I sometimes might like-- I know that this sounds a little crazy, and I'm not quite sure how to articulate it but I guess sometimes I would like to feel as though what I was doing with these kids in our two-times fifty minutes with one another each week was something lasting-- not that they won't take our experiences with them and not that what I'm doing with them I'm not putting thought and effort and heart and vigor into-- but they are probably, at least some of them, teaching me how to play more than I teach them-- they remind about how we all used to experience the world through spontaneous movement free from fear or pain and through imagination (at least the little ones do)...and interestingly enough, it is from the younger students that I relearn this each day and am able to bring it to my older students who are starting to forget. So this is important I suppose. But I think they learn just as much on the playground during recesses as they do from me often-- it's all about providing the space in which this can happen I guess, and less about me-- in English, it was more about a transfer of knowledge to a degree. Why do I crave this? Well, at least I am getting it in doses through tutoring, and when I teach new skills in Games. But more importantly, perhaps, I am learning to let go of this need, at least to loosen my grip on it and to just enjoy the world around me and my position in it with integrity and spirit, and simply model this for my students. These days in the sun are doing wonders for me, and my challenges in meeting the needs of my wide range of kids are teaching me a flexibility and creativity of which I might not have thought myself capable.

I am grateful for the weekend, in spite of the fact that Alex will be away. I will be immersed in training-- which will, and has continued, to be wonderful and inspiring and so damn hard. Three more weeks until its conclusion-- so hard to believe! Most excitingly-- DARYA IS VISITING from Sunday into Monday and coming into my classes on Monday to talk about IMPACT and do some demos...

AYRUVEDA, etc.

So in this post, I'll concentrate on Item b) on the agenda I set for myself last time...Saving a) for sometime...



This weekend, our training cohort went up to the studio in Huntington Beach to take an amazing intermediate/advanced class and then a workshop on Ayurveda both with this phenomenal and inspiring woman named Heather. It was eye-opening and heart-opening in so many ways-- I had all kinds of epiphanies and incredibly simple yet profound revelations about the relationships among habit and mind and diet and movement and interaction and drive in any given person. Upon coming into the class, I had taken a test to determine which "dosha" was most dominant in my own mental, emotional, and physical make-up-- doshas basically are "types" by which people are categorized and there are three-- Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Each is associated with various characteristics that correspond to the various chakras as well as to elements, season, scents, flavors, and areas of the physical body. My test proved me to be at this moment a Vata in body, largely, but more Pitta in personality and mentality. I thought before going to the session that this was a little hokey, even though a lot of what the test said resonated with me, but after Heather described these in details and took us through the rationale behind their very existence in the philosophy, I was hooked, convinced, and totally fascinated. I still think they are, inevitably, a bit reductive-- however, that's only if one chooses to look at them this way. I'm going to post the quiz here so you can all try it out if you want to: http://doshaquiz.chopra.com/
See if it seems to work for you-- then see what you think about its diagnosis of me ;) Vata-Pitta (more Vata body, Pitta mind; though it changes daily and recently, I've been much more Pitta-ish; today's test proved this)
If you take it and find that you have an imbalance in some area, let me know and I can give you some recs for rituals to take on and small changes to make in order to even things out, harmonize them. I'm in the process of instituting some new things in my own day to day life and I am seeing results, feeling them really. It's pretty incredible stuff actually-- so brilliantly simple and complex a system simultaneously...I am hooked; wanting to go more deeply into studying this. What's really fascinating too is to apply it to yoga-- looking at want poses support balancing out the doshas, what poses a particular person perhaps should or shouldn't do-- and also, learning how to recognize a particular dosha-type when s/he walks into one's yoga (or any) classroom...and how to help that person accordingly in specific postures...

Writing this is difficult because I feel like there is just so much share and digest-- but I guess this will just serve as a taste of what I'm experiencing and as an explanation of why I am eating more hearty, rooty, warm, grounding foods; why I am meditating formally twice a day, why I'm using sesame oil on my skin as a delicious toner and why I am using spicy aromatherapy and essential oils; why I am doing these wacky "kriyas" during the day--small exercises that target specific chakras to open them up...We shall see what happens :) At the worst, I'll just smell good and glow and be super relaxed...

oh what a week!

My last post was just brief enough to convey, I think, the little bit of overwhelmedness (a word now) and trepidation that I felt toward the enterprise of taking on this two hour class in addition to my own classes and other responsibilities this week. But also, I hope that the excitement that I felt around it shone through in that short announcement as well, because really, it was such such such a joy to get back into the English classroom again. I won't go on at too much length here about the details of the class itself except to say that it was with the 9th Grade-- a whole class year of only FIVE people (three girls, two guys); it fell under the umbrella of the "Comedy and Tragedy" Block that happens in High School Humanities in Waldorf and I took up the thread at the start of their study of Shakespeare's Elizabethan comedy A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM. And what a blast!

I am in the midst of prepping for another big day tomorrow, one, though, that is dynamic enough, varied enough, to be the fodder of inspiration. Anticipate a long entry tomorrow-- focusing on a) teaching English vs. Games and my perspective thus far and b) AYURVEDA! My workshops this weekend through training were AMAZING and I'm so excited to share what I've learned.

News Flash

Quickly:

Teaching English to the 9th Grade all week! Crazy development-- and a crazy schedule. Lots to update. Soon.

Catch-Up

Happy Monday, everyone!


Goodness! So much to unpack from the weekend and today-- funny how my week days rather than my weekends have shaped themselves into the time when I can think and write and unwind a bit. Thursday's post encapsulated and froze fairly articulately the dominant feeling that has revealed itself to be the underbelly of the brilliance and inspiration and fun that I'm feeling in my life right now...and I think it is so crucial to include this so that there is no misconception about the rhythm of my days and the thoughts and actions that occupy them-- no, not everything is easy, and no, I am not always living with perfect integrity and grace and patience. I'm sure Alex and my students could attest to this! ;) But I'm breathing into it and constantly readjusting...

Friday was a long day-- but full in an uplifting way, especially because Alex finished a rough week too and we could really just exhale. Four classes, tutoring, yoga and running, plus snuggle TV time made for a positive pause. Saturday it was full-speed again-- up to Huntington Beach from 10:30 to 6:15, with two yoga classes-- one really amazing; an advanced level heated Vinyasa with an instructor who had a voice and an energy-- a presence-- that made one feel that one, in spite of the crowded room, was the only person to whom she was speaking...It was simultaneously the longer and shortest 75 minutes I've experienced in a long, long time-- the most I've been present possibly ever-- at least until our guided meditation on Sunday...Anyway, it was mind-blowing in the best way. This second class was followed by chanting and a lecture on the koshas and other "yogi theory" and history, specifically as related to the Bandhas...These are the locks that exist in our bodies through which vital energy releases-- in yoga, ideally in all of life, we engage these locks as a means of controlling and utilizing that energy most effectively on all levels of being. The most noteworthy of the bandhas are 1) the mula bandha (basically, the lock on our pelvic floor-- the "pee stop") 2) the uttiyana bandha (essentially the core; located just below the navel) and 3) the jalandhara bandha (located in the throat). By engaging these areas, these locks-- yoga apparently becomes easy as does life (;) hehe)-- so we took the time to explore this idea in depth in an hour long session led by Jen (my instructor) on inversions. Now, I must admit that, secretly, honestly, one of the major reasons I was even compelled to do this training was because I wanted to learn, for real and once and for all, to do these awesome inversion poses-- to strengthen my muscles and deepen my confidence and trust so much that I can, upon graduation, do things like handstand and Peacock and Squirel and be able to really PLAY in this exciting contortionistic way...I've definitely made incredible progress-- and have the Crow Pose bruises to prove it-- but there is SO much further to go...So this portion of training was a highlight and a challenge. We ended the session with a breaking down of the Chakras-- SO FASCINATING! We took self-evaluations to determine our balances in each-- I found that the Chakra to which I am most atuned, both for better and for worse, is the Third (located in the Core and YELLOW in color)-- look it up and see if this fits with who you know as me ;)! More on this at some other point-- basically, such cool stuff...

The day wasn't yet over though after the training in HB-- I had to make my way down to Irvine for a fundraising event for school-- Silent and Live Auctions, dinner and dancing at a GORGEOUS golf course so enchantingly decorated in the spirit and splendor of autumn harvest-- almost New Englandly so! I, in spite of my exhausting and my solo status ( I couldn't ask Alex to pay the $95 price tag for a ticket, especially when I thought it was going to be incredibly boring-- had a nice time, especially we chatting with parents and my colleagues, and loved, too, being able to show my face wearing something other than my "Games Teacher"clothing...Getting home, though, I crashed once more-- luckily having Alex to catch me and put me to bed...

To get up and do it all over again on Sunday! Tutoring at 8:30 am after a run on the beach; breakfast out with A. and then to Aliso V. for more class and training. The class was fabulous and the meditation (guided) that we did during training was phenomenal-- I've never before been able to sit still for 40 minutes, let alone reach any sort of meditative state really, but here, I achieved a shadow of it... And how awesome it was!

Speeding on to today-- because I am feeling the pull of the present and wanting to be there rather than here-- knowing I need to honor that-- I had a FANTASTIC experience of getting to sub for the High School English teacher at school! 9th Graders starting A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM-- I soared through this so joyfully, I surprised myself at just how much I MISS teaching this discipline-- God, my body was physically craving it-- but now that I've gotten my fix, will I be satisfied or just need more??? Yikes.

The chaos of the day came from 4th Grade who took advantage of the sprinkler system going off in the middle of class on the field and got TOTALLY soaked-- much to the chagrin of me and their next teacher, particularly as it was not exactly a sunny or particularly WARM day (actually getting chilly here!) Just hope that the changes of shirts I got them warded off any colds....

Last note: Basketball had begun, as has Tennis-- still trying to get swimming set up for grades 6, 7 and 8...Keep you posted.

Love to you all-- namaste and good night.

A wall. I hit one yesterday that, while perhaps I should have, I didn't expect to. I was riding this golden wave of exhilarating awakeness and unfailing energy...just long enough to forget that I am in fact human and need things like rest, maybe a break? Ha. ;) Well, taking four classes in one day (two of them Sculpt), plus training with mock teaching, AND my classes with a Roman MARCH to the beach for swimming and frolicking with the 6th Grade; in addition, I also attended my first meeting as a member of the therapy/intervention group at the school (about which I'm SO excited and will share more); -- ALL OF THIS (which I've put into one sentence to emphasize the long-windedness of the whole *whew* day--was finally enough to exhaust me to the point that when I arrived home at 11pm after being awake from 5:45am, I couldn't even crash...Today, I awoke early but with an enormous headache and was worn down enough to yield when Alex insisted I take a rest day (though I did go for a swim in the ocean that is actually slightly warmer than the air outside-- plus workout with my kiddies)...And it was the best idea ever-- challenging but so good; great to step back from the studio too for a day...

My Thursdays are typically my breath-catching day anyway; I have only two classes back to back in the morning and then the afternoon class periods I use to organize, plan, read, run, relax-- before going to the various faculty meetings that take me to 5pm and ridiculous traffic on the way home (the perfect opportunity for me to practice my breathing and patience and surrender into being present, and joyful in that present-----grrrrrrrrrrrr.....:) Today gave me that a bit-- 3rd and 6th Grades, in which play takes center stage, were entertaining and went forward without huge consequence or catastrophe...Lunch duty on the playground provided me with the opportunity to repair palm frond forts with a brilliantly astute, wide-eyed, curly red-haired First Grader who, with the greatest conviction in his expertise, demonstrated for me the physics of foundation construction (with a little help from my slightly larger muscles and greater height ;)). This, and starting the new David Sedaris and cleaning the kitchen, were indisputably the high lights of my day, though the wittiest comment of this Thursday came at the faculty meeting when a brilliant and incredibly dedicated teacher, who has had a back injury and has been nursing it by spending a little more time at home (where she can be "horizontal" as she said), shared with us that she now (so wonderfully!) has a new man in her life. One of our colleagues jumped on the obvious connection with perfect punch-line timing: "Is that because you've been horizontal?" I was dying; even thinking about it now I chuckle. Maybe you had to be there, but it is really pretty darn funny.

So now there is Friday to soar through. I am eager to bite into it and enjoy it fully! Four classes, recess duty, tutoring, some yoga practice, running, and a beach cook-out by my talented roomie :) in the moonlight. Life is good.

My Question of the Day, and looking forward...

I suppose it's not so much a question as it is a challenge for me right now...but how does one organize and engage an army of 1st through 3rd, even 4th, grade students with any kind of efficiency? 3rd was relatively focused today, and 5th Grade as usual was pretty dreamy (we did some challenging yoga poses they enjoyed and managed quite well!) but 4th was a logistical aggravation because of their constant need to tattle on one another, to push and shove, to be first, to have things their way or no way, to be the center of attention (while their 24+ classmates are also vying for the spot...). One can't even issue instructions! They were fantastic yesterday-- we did some relays and I guess always keeping it fresh for them and having them constantly moving with things that aren't incredibly complicated is the answer but today they fell apart with similar simplicity. It's an interesting group. I took them in early and we had a serious behavioral conversation..We'll see if things change.

7th Grade stuff was so much improved yesterday-- but we'll see if this last through tomorrow's lesson. I have some lovely CrossFit kids stuff planned for them :). And also tomorrow! My Roman march to the beach with Grade 6! Cannot wait to share this experience.

Yoga training also continues tomorrow...

*Whew*

be here NOW

I'm finding myself in an interesting place-- one in which I think I've always craved to be yet never really come close to reaching. It's a state of being so immersed in living the now that I have had little time for reflection...Or I guess that's not actually correct because I have been reflective and awake, but I've noticed that I haven't been trapped in my usual compulsion to over analyze and doubt and hide and fear quite as much as in these past years. I've been consciously working toward BEING wherever it is that I am in a moment, and I can feel myself, on most days, coming closer to making this a reality. I know that yoga and my training has been helping this-- the reading that I've been doing along side it as well. But just as importantly have my daily interactions with my students, my deepening connections with my colleagues, my new experience of sharing a home with someone not in my family-- inspired, and continually inspire me toward approaching life with honesty, joy, fearlessness, openness, flexibility, and intention. I'm finally realizing and utilizing the truth that the quality of everything, the good or bad of it, is in the manner in which I CHOOSE to perceive and approach and meet it...And I am trying to make this an embrace, buoyant and curious and full of gratitude and love for all that experience can teach me, can help me to grow into my most authentic self.

There are many reasons behind this meditation here-- it has come out of conversations with my fellow teachers in training and out of my own revelations over simply beauties and dynamics and rhythms in my daily life-- but the purpose of my inclusion of it here is mainly to explain to a degree the lapse in my entries...That these last days have been lived fully and not chronicled here and that I have decided not to beat myself up for that-- not to violate "Ahimsa" (the code of Non-Violence in yoga teachings) in regard to my treatment of myself-- but rather to accept this happily! This blog is shaping itself into something that is maybe not a direct report of the everyday madness of things but another type of forum a little less dictated by days; driven by a different beat. So I'll catch up with what has stuck, and what is moving forward with me into tomorrow.

The last two days of the past week were successful school-wise on many levels. I am feeling much more confident in my position and am a little bit in love with every class right now, except for Grade Seven, which has its own issues...They're dealing in a very ugly manner with their transition into adolescence: struggling with social expectations, insecurities, accepting authority, respect toward themselves and others...They are whiny, contrary and lazy-- they talk back and slack off and are generally sour and often infuriating to deal with. At least, though, I know it is not just me. ALL of the teachers have been experiencing this with the group, and some much more severely than me and we are having a meeting with all of the instructors to address our common concerns and problems this week. Basically, though, tomorrow they will not be happy campers. Their workout will be a boot camp of its own and they won't mess with Ms. Nelson's authority again...Dun Dun Dun. ;) Apart from Grade Seven though, like I mentioned, I am really finding such satisfaction and enjoyment in working with my students (and I know that the Seventh Graders will come around-- individually, they're delightful). The spirit of play that I have the freedom to bring to my classes is infectious and even the more rigorous exercises and challenges take on an air of real fun with our collective enthusiasm. Highlights of the week included tumbling with Grade Two and "Mother May I" with Grade One, relay races with Grade Three, and "Capture the Flag" and "Hide and Seek Tag" out on the Bluffs (our crazy wilderness desert area beside the school) with Grades Five, Six, and Eight (Seven was totally lame out there and have lost their privilege to use the space). Another favorite thing of mine this week was having the Sixth Graders get into four groups and draw up their own obstacles courses. They had to incorporate exercises and activities that met a set of particular criteria (at least one running/jumping, one core, one arms, etc.) but beyond that had complete freedom-- and what fantastic courses they devised! Most incredible though was to see the enthusiasm with which they worked to create these...They were focused intently on their task and worked excellently in cooperation with one another. So cute too when they had to lead all of us through their circuits! We still have two to do next class, but this will be on Thursday rather than Wednesday BECAUSE on Wednesday, instead of having class, we will be taking the whole latter half of the morning to MARCH like a Roman army (they are studying Ancient Rome now) to the beach, about a mile and a half away! Towels will serve as capes and togas, and boogie boards as shields! I can hardly wait and am stoked to be included in this endeavor. The Sixth Grade teacher is lovely and totally inspiring-- she's in her late twenties (I think...?) and has been trained and worked as a midwife, among other things, and has traveled widely. Such intriguing and incredible people surround me-- actually, they're always around, I think-- we just have to open our eyes, ears and hearts to see them!

This weekend was again dedicated to YOGA TRAINING-- Saturday and Sunday. I am amazed by how many classes I'm getting in; by how much I am really dedicating myself to this practice, as difficult and challenging and time-consuming as it is. I am glowing from the focus and energy, though, that it in its wholeness, looking at all of its facets, is giving me. What really struck me about this week as opposed to last week is the stride into which I have come here-- my increasing willingness to surrender into my weaknesses and tightnesses and blocks in this and to challenge and explore them without simply pushing blindly through pain and frustration with gritted teeth and judgment-clouded mind. It's not all gone, certainly, but there is an increased level of peace and accepting awareness in me in this space and in the role into which I am training myself to come and with this has come not only heightened confidence but also heightened joy in the process: as a result, I have come out of these intense hours of training this week much less drained than the last. We worked a lot on memorization this week, on alignment and adjustment of students through a particularly challenging part of our series, and finally on teaching itself-- cuing and all of that of course, but also on cultivating a personal style and effective presence as a teacher. I surprised myself here in a positive way, and was also impressed by the work of many of my cohorts. We're a really interesting group-- random in so many ways, but like-minded, I suppose, in all the ways that matter here. The two classes we took as part of our official training this weekend-- both with one of our instructors, were wonderful and perhaps even transformative in themselves-- pushing me to places I never thought I could go and making me think, with the focal points and messages she chose to include and share, in fresh ways. Yesterday's theme was essentially: "WHY NOT NOW?" and was meant to make us think about ceasing our constant quest for happiness in some future goal and realizing that happiness is a choice that we make, and an answer we hold inside of ourselves; today's was TO HAVE FUN! Basically, to infuse a sense of joy into whatever it is that we encounter, that we undertake in our lives because this approach will change the very quality of that experience: the experience is neither GOOD nor BAD-- it is our mind that makes that determination, that has the power to make it go either way; so why not take it with a smile??? It seems so simple, so cliche, perhaps even simplistic-- but honestly, applied in everyday existence, this SMILE can shape a future concretely, with existential proof. And I think I'm reaching the point of living it...Any least being aware of its truth and its power and working toward it...

So this is how I will enter into this week, whatever it will throw at me. I am so psyched about having my English tutoring clients and bringing this back into my life; I am excited to have the opportunity to teach yoga to the faculty and staff at school one afternoon a week as an ideal chance to practice this skill and form stronger relationships with these people (I couldn't believe it when they asked me to do this!); I am eager to see what my students have to teach me this week in our shared adventures; I am hopeful that I will see Alex more this week than last, between our two crazy schedules; and I am grateful for all that I am lucky enough to have and am blessed to experience.