nEW WEEk, NEw NovEmbEr: chance to press "rEstArt"

This idea of the first of each new month emphatically inviting the conscious possibility for change was the theme of my noon yoga class yesterday, and it certainly resonates. While, as Keeley (our fabulous and inspiring instructor) reminded us, each BREATH we take holds in it this possibility, I think it's easier to look at these larger milestones of months, years-- and use them as the impetus to shift something that it not sitting right, whether that element of our lives is large or small. Of course, we can all always think of a million things in our lives that are not exactly as we might ideally like them to be-- we wish for this, and we say we'll change that; but how many times does this discontent translate into action? Most of the time, the moves toward changing something that is making us less than joyful are simple ones-- perhaps we know them-- but each and every one of those actions needs to come from the person wanting the change, not from some outside force. These new months and their potential reinforce the reality that we hold the power to shape our worlds and our own happiness.

So here we go, diving into a month my experience of which has always been positive, if slightly chaotic, packed full as it is with holiday festivities and travels, ends and beginnings of sports seasons, exams in some cases, and a true movement in seasonal dynamics-- when the golden fall becomes the blustery gray...I love the brilliance and the bluster equally, and have felt a bit of a hole in me this year in missing any dramatic season change. I am ECSTATICALLY excited about my Thanksgiving visit to Santa Fe-- I dreamed last night (in addition to a terrifying nightmare in which I walked into an enormous yoga class-- hundreds and hundreds of people-- and was to my horror brought up to the front to restore order to this chaos and teach something I didn't know) about climbing Atalaya in the pre-dawn; I love that I've done this so many times that it has become a beautiful meditation-- I know each step of the ways up and down and even now I can take the journey in my mind: the various obstacles, the specific landmarks of this pine or this boulder, the distinct scents along the way, the changes in temperature, the way in which I've, in my head, broken up the trek into four pieces-- each with its own challenges. But soon, sooner than soon, I'll be able to experience it...The trip will be a much needed one-- a reconnection with a year and place and a community that gave me so much. Three weeks!

But until then-- nearly a whole month's worth of living to be done! The wrap-up of October brought with it excitement and stress-- Alex's weeks at the rifle range, marked by 3:30am departures and early, early bedtimes for one of us, early mornings and late nights for the other; extra work at school as I scrambled to cover classes for ailing colleagues, too many meetings, sports practices, tutoring sessions, yoga yoga yoga, shopping for a dress for the Marine Ball next week, LIFE. The next three weeks WILL be even more of a whirlwind: the last sessions of yoga training are upon me-- I'm feeling great about it, really, but a little nervous for the exams on the 14th and 15th; DAD'S VISIT this week/end in the midst of craziness at school with the child study and accreditation work we're doing in Faculty Meeting, the Marine Ball, training, school... BUT I'M SO EXCITED TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM!; the final weeks leading up to the holiday and all of the fluster around this....I'm breathing. I promise. :) My goals for this month: FLEXIBILITY and PATIENCE. More simply said than done, of course, but things to keep humming in the back of my mind.

The time change was welcome. It's beautiful to rise in the pre-dawn glow rather than in complete darkness just as it will bring a positive rhythm, I think, to have the sun close the day "earlier." As I sit at the kitchen table now, finishing these thoughts, I am looking over a sunshine soaked San Clemente-- it glows in this blue-skied morning. I will scamper down to the beach for an invigorating run along the water and then make my way to a delicious yoga class before heading to school for the day--a day in which all of the chaos around teacher absences has given me the 5th Grade to blend with both my 8th and 1st Grade classes! I'm so intrigued to see the dynamics of these interactions at play and will recount them. I'm subbing for the high school PE teacher this afternoon and these kids are in for a rude awakening... :)

November will be a month of surrendering to the things I cannot change or must do, of enjoying-- of finding the positive in each person or experience, and most importantly of expressing each emotion-- gratitude, sympathy, joy, respect-- through action, because with this new month, and with each new breath, change is my possibility....